Starting to date

I really like him. How do I let him know?

Never been on a date?

Thinking a lot about asking that cute guy or girl out? No doubt about it, dating can be pretty
nerve-wracking. Relax. This is supposed to be fun, remember?

Flirting

Flirting might be one of the easiest ways to show someone you’re into them. Flirting can be both deliberate (telling someone you like them) and more subtle (playing with your hair; blushing, trying to get their attention by making them laugh). Both types of flirting send messages to your crush that you’re interested, and can be a fun part of infatuation. Still, not everyone you flirt with will get the signal.

To be super-clear about how you feel, try a direct approach:

Be nice
Ditch the pickup lines (do they ever work?)
and try complimenting the person you like. “I like your haircut” or “Cool shirt” are two ideas, but you should say whatever comes naturally to you.

Be clear
Show that you notice your crush by saying “Hi” when you run into them. It’s also a good idea to ask questions that show you’re interested, such as, “How’s your day going?” or “How’d you do on the Math test?”

 

Be respectful
Don’t smother, don’t crowd, and don’t touch your crush unless it seems entirely okay with that person. Everyone has boundaries. Some people might be okay with a playful poke in the ribs, but don’t make assumptions. Pay attention to their body language and respect any cues that you need to back off. If you’re not sure if what you are doing is okay, ask.

Asking someone out

Asking someone out can be huge and can take a lot of courage. Although there are no guarantees that your crush will say yes, if you don’t ask, you will never know. So take a deep breath and try some of these steps:

Practice first

There’s nothing wrong with feeling shy, but it can be frustrating when you feel too scared to ask someone out. Some people find that practising what you want to say beforehand helps to keep their nerves in check.

Be yourself

You’ve heard that before, right? It’s good advice. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then they probably aren’t right for you.

Make a plan

Think about something you could do on your date. Check out a movie, go to a sports event, or take a walk together. Those are just a few ideas but there are hundreds of others.

The more, the merrier

If you’re worried about coming on too strong, think about a group outing. You could go bowling, play baseball, or do something else with friends. Group settings are great because there isn’t the pressure of a one-on-one date, but you’ll still get a moment or two to flirt with your crush.

Be friends

If you’ve never spoken to your crush before, you might want to start by being friendly toward them first. Some of the best relationships start out as friendships, after all.

Rejection

Hearing “no” is hard no matter how nicely you’re turned down. Try to remember that everyone gets rejected sooner or later.

Here’s what you can do while you’re feeling down:

  • Talk to someone about how you feel
  • Hang out with your friends or family
  • Watch funny or exciting movies (avoid romantic comedies for a while)
  • Keep active: go for a walk or play sports
  • Let yourself cry if you’re feeling sad
  • Avoid the temptation to do something disrespectful, like spreading rumours
  • Pay attention to your feelings


Don’t forget, you will get over it.
And before long, you might be interested in someone else.


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Last Reviewed September 2013 by the Kids Help Phone Counselling Team


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