The post-breakup blues

I can’t believe how much it hurts.

Having your heart broken is brutal. You may feel sad, angry, confused, and humiliated.

You might believe that you’ll never find anyone else, or that you’ll feel awful forever. Fortunately, neither of those things is true.

Take it easy
Be kind to yourself. Watch movies, listen to music, write in a journal, and take long walks. The idea is to feel better, so do something that you enjoy.

Let it out
It’s okay to cry if you need to. You can also yell into a pillow or rant about it in your journal. As long as you keep yourself safe and don’t take it out on anyone else, expressing your feelings will help you heal.


Talk about it
Talking to a friend or a family member can help you sort out your feelings. You can also try speaking to a counsellor at Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868, or use the Feelings Log feature of Always There, the Kids Help Phone mobile app. The app is available for free and works on iOS and Android devices.

Keep busy
Shutting yourself in your room and dwelling on the past won’t help you right now. Take a walk, join a club, call your friends, and keep active as much as you can. One day you’ll wake up and notice that you’re feeling better.


Stay single
Think twice before getting involved with someone else right away. It’s a good idea to give yourself time to heal and re-prioritize. Having a rebound relationship might take your mind off things, but there’s a good chance it will end in more hurt.

Be patient
Getting over someone takes time.
Try not to rush yourself.


Getting over it

It’s natural to feel sad or down when a relationship ends, even if you’re the one who ended it. The good news is that the sadness won’t last forever. If you’re fixating on how great your relationship was, or how bad you feel that it’s over, try keeping some of these things in mind:

You are growing
This might be hard to believe, but the end of a relationship gives you a chance to grow. What did you learn from your experience? Would you do anything differently next time? What are you looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? Making a list of the good and the bad can help you learn what you’re looking for in your next relationship.

You’re still awesome!
You have tons of amazing qualities.
You deserve to be with someone
who appreciates you.


It’s about you now
Now that you’re single, you can focus on the things that make you happy. You can rent the movies that you want to see, order your favourite pizza toppings, and hog the whole couch to yourself. It also means you can spend more time with your friends rather than your ex’s.

You just might be better off
Many relationships end for good reasons. Once the relationship has ended, you can say goodbye to all of the drama that the relationship brought to your life, and try to fill your life with more positive things.


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Last reviewed September 2013 by the Kids Help Phone Counselling Team

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