Some people find that rituals help them through their grief. The idea behind a ritual is not to put the loss away or “get over it,” but to do something meaningful to help you feel better. Rituals can be a really healthy way to remember someone you loved and lost. Here are some different healing rituals that might work for you:

Memory box

Gather up ticket stubs, letters, and other mementos that remind you of the person you lost. If you feel like it, try writing a letter to that person—what would you say to them if they were alive today? Add it to the box. Whenever you feel like it, open the box to help remind you of all the great times you shared. Remembering how much joy they brought to your life might help you feel better about the sadness you feel today.

Collage

Gather your favourite photos of the person you lost and tape them to a giant board. If you don’t have enough pictures to cover the board, try asking family members, friends, or other people who knew the person that died, and make the collage together.

Healing circle

Ask a group of people who knew the person you lost. Sit in a circle and talk about your grief. Share your favourite memories. Talk about the things you miss doing with that person. Knowing that you’re not alone in your grief might help you.

Journal

Writing can be a really good way to explore your feelings, especially if you’re feeling a lot of different things at once. Here are some sentences that might help you start writing:

• The funniest thing you ever said to me was…
• The last movie we saw together…
• Your favourite colour/smell/song was…
• We had a lot in common…
• Things we didn’t have in common were…
• I learned from you that…
• I think you learned from me…
• The saddest thing about losing you is…
• The thing I miss most about you…
• The last time I saw you…
• The nicest thing you ever did for me…
• The hardest we ever laughed was…

Prayer

For some people, prayer can be healing after experiencing a loss. If prayer is not something you believe in, there are other ways of being spiritual that might work better for you, such as spending time in nature.

Funerals

A funeral is a formal gathering of friends and family that usually happens a few days after someone has died. What happens in a funeral depends on the cultural and religious traditions of the family, but all funerals are a way of remembering the person who has died and marking their passing. People have mixed feelings about funerals. Some people worry about how to act, and what to say to the people around them. Here are some thoughts that might help you:

• Funerals allow friends and family to share their memories and feelings in a safe, supportive environment
• Funerals give people a chance to show support and love for the friends and family of the person who died
• Funerals are an opportunity for people to absorb their loss, which is really important since many people feel shock or disbelief that the person is really gone

Funerals can be sad occasions, but it is okay to laugh and smile, especially over a fond memory.

The next section is about living with the loss.

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