It hurts to see someone you care about suffer. If someone you know is talking about dying, you can help by being a good friend.

How do I know?

Your friend might seem annoyed or irritated all of the time, or act like they don’t care about anything. You might hear excuses about why your friend can’t hang out with you. You might notice that your friend stops showering or seems tired all of the time. Your friend might start taking risks, or giving away things that you know are important to them. You might also hear your friend say things like:

• “The world would be better off without me.”
• “No one cares.”
• “I can’t take it anymore.”
• “It’s not worth it.”
• “I don’t care.”
• “You’ll be rid of me soon.”

It’s important to remember that someone who talks about committing suicide probably doesn’t want to die, but wants to express that they’re suffering. Talking about it is a warning sign, but there is hope.

What can I do?

You can’t control what happens to your friend, but you can show that you care by reaching out. Here’s how:

Tell your friend that you’re worried. Here are some things you can say:

• “You seem really down lately. Do you want to talk about it?”
• “I’m worried about you. What’s going on?”
• “I want to help you. Let’s talk about it.”
• “Have you thought about killing yourself?”

It can be frustrating to see someone you care about struggle. It can be tempting to give your friend ultimatums, like: “I’m not going to be your friend anymore if you don’t get help.” It’s important to talk about how you feel, but don’t take it out on your friend. Talk to a counsellor, friend, teacher, or parent to work through your feelings. You can also Ask Us Online.

If your friend tells you that they’re feeling suicidal and tells you not to tell anyone, don’t listen. Offer to go with your friend to speak to a guidance counsellor at school. You can also give your friend the number for Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868. If you’re worried that your friend is in danger, tell someone. Talk to a counsellor at school, or tell a parent that you’re worried. Remember, your friend might get mad at you for telling someone, but at least your friend will still be alive.

It’s an emergency if you’re worried that your friend might do something to hurt themselves. Don’t wait. Call for help and explain the situation.

Remember

It’s natural to want to help a friend who is hurting, but there are limits to how much you can do. Try to be there for your friend by encouraging them to get the help they need, but don’t make yourself responsible for your friend’s actions. You can’t control what happens, but you can be proud of yourself for being a caring friend.