I've lost someone

Losing someone to suicide is heartbreaking. It hurts for a long time. You might feel like the world doesn’t make sense to you anymore. How could someone leave you like this? It’s doesn’t feel fair. You might feel very angry at the person who died.

At a loss

Your world was turned upside down when you heard the news. You might have felt like you were having a bad dream. Words can’t describe your pain, but here are some things that you might be experiencing:

Crying a lot
Nightmares
Not being able to focus at school
Wanting to die, or thinking about killing yourself

Every person experiences a loss to suicide differently, but one thing is true for everyone: It is not your fault. You might blame yourself for what happened, but you can’t let yourself think that way. You are not responsible for how other people live their lives. Nothing you said or did caused the person you lost to end their life—it was an act that this person carried out on their own.

What now?

Grief is a very difficult experience. The pain might surface in a lot of different ways. You might feel hyper one minute, and devastated the next. A counsellor can help you work through these feelings, and help answer some of your questions. Talk to an adult you trust and ask for help finding a counsellor. You can also reach out to a guidance counsellor at school, or call a counsellor at Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868.

Getting over it

You will never forget the person you lost. That person will hold a special place in your heart forever. As time passes and you work through your grief, you will start to feel better. Feeling better doesn’t mean that you’re forgetting the person you lost. Your memories will help keep that person alive in your mind, and no one can take those memories away from you.

Will I hurt forever?

No, but you have to be very gentle with yourself right now. Take the time that you need. Try to understand that you will have good days and bad, but over time, you will have more good days than bad days. Reach out to your friends. Take long walks. Write in a journal. Do the things that you enjoy doing and be patient. It will get better.