Why am I jealous?

I can't help it. My friend has everything and it isn't fair.

There could be a lot of different reasons why you feel jealous. For the most part, jealousy is about comparing yourself to someone else. You see what a friend has—clothes, cool parents, a part-time job—and you can’t help it, you want it for yourself. Here are some of the common things you may feel jealous of:

  • Boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Popularity
  • Grades
  • Other friends
  • Athleticism
  • Clothing
  • Physical appearance
  • Internet time

It’s pretty common for friends to be jealous of each other, and it’s not always obvious who is jealous of whom. Feeling jealous is okay, but what matters is the way that you deal with your feelings.

4 Tips for dealing with jealousy

Talk about your
feelings with someone you trust

If you feel jealous of a friend, that’s okay. It might help to talk to an adult you trust about your feelings, since jealousy can be challenging to deal with. This person might also be able to point out some of the strengths that you’re not seeing in yourself which could help to change your perspective. Remember, if you need someone to talk to, Kids Help Phone counsellors are here for you 24/7 at 1-800-668-6868. You can also write to us through Live Chat.

Spend time with people who
help you feel good about yourself 

Spending time with people who share similar values as you and who don’t judge you or compare themselves to you can help to minimize the chances you’ll feel jealous.

Try not to compare
yourself to other people

When you focus on yourself, without comparing yourself to other people, you are less likely to feel jealous. After all, in the end, the person’s opinion of you who matters the most is your own.

Recognize that
we all have different strengths

Sometimes it can be easier to see what others have than what we have ourselves. Focusing on your strengths, and on what you do have, instead of on what other people have could help you to feel happier with yourself.


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Last Reviewed August 2013 by the Kids Help Phone Counselling Team


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