"He took all the anger he had in him and just hurt me with it"

Question

i had a thing with this guy and it was a healthy relationship (we were best friends) until a week after that. he started controlling me and telling me what to do. i made a friend that i could talk to actually one of his friends and told him what was going on and he told the guy to stop and talked to him about it 2 times. the second time the guy got mad and did not talk to me or him of a month. He became friends with my best friend and she didn't talk to me and thought it was my fault and he replaced me with this girl who made fun of me. We became friends again but just little bit but me and the girl were best friends again and me and the boy 1/2 friends. When i get him out of dodge ball he tells me I'm the worst friend ever and calls me stupid and names all the time and i feel like i believe it now. I got him out today in dodge ball and and got mad at me and hit me over and over again and he wouldn't stop and he took all the anger he had in him and just hurt me with it he was only like a foot away and my teacher didn't care she just thinks he's joking. then he started talking smack about me on the bench with my friend and she told him that i was doing it on purpose just to get him mad and i just don't know what to do. I feel so empty and like i can't do anything and he keeps emotionally abusing me and I'm really afraid of him and feel helpless.

Answer from counsellor

Thanks for writing to Kids Help Phone. I'm really glad that you did because it sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time lately. It must have been really frustrating and upsetting to have been in a fight with boy your best friend and your boyfriend. I sense you must have been relieved that you and the best friend were able to overcome that and be friends again, but it sounds like that hasn't happened with the guy. I am very sorry to hear that he is bring so cruel to you. I am very worried for you, especially because you said that he was hitting you "over and over again". Yikes! I am also sorry to hear that the teacher thought this was a joke and didn't step in to help you. This is not okay. I'm wondering how you would feel about approaching this teacher to let them know that what happened was NOT a joke and that you are really afraid of him. If the teacher were to know how scared you are would they help to ensure that you are safe in that class going forward? Is there anyone else that you could approach about this, so that you can get help, in general, not just in one class? Could you approach a school counsellor (if you have one), the principal, etc? The school has the responsibility to keep their students safe - emotionally, physically. I would hope that if you were to reach out to him about how "helpless" and "afraid" that they are feeling that they would take steps to help end the bullying and keep you safe. Have you spoken to him since that incident? You mention being 1/2 friends so I'm not sure if you have had contact since then, but if you have, would you feel comfortable (and safe) mentioning this issue and requesting him to stop talking about you, being violent, etc? If this is not something you feel you can do that is understandable - then it's okay to reach out to the adults and leave it up to them. While reading your post I found myself wondering how you have been coping with all of this. It made me sad to hear that you are beginning to believe the mean things that he has been saying to you. We hear from other young people who have mentioned that the bullying/name calling can really get them down and they may start to believe what is being said. Does it help to know that bullies often say things that aren't true - they say things to try and get you down? Would telling yourself that you aren't the names that he has called you? To spend some time thinking positive things to try and lift your spirits? Do you have a support system that you can reach out to? Parent/caregiver, friends, etc. What have you been doing for yourself to help when you've been upset? If you're looking for information on coping check out this link: kidshealth.org/teen/centers/stress_center.html Of course we are here for you as well. You can call us 24/7 for more immediate support. 1-800-668-6868. P.S. I edited your nickname as I thought it may contain a real name. We edit out identifying information, like names, to help keep people safe and their posts anonymous.