"I hate it so much, my voice is dropping and people always comment."


ERRR I hate it so much, my voice is dropping and people always comment on it and its emberassing(i know it shouldn't)Also i'm starting to grow arm pit hair and my mom say it and she said"ahh my lilltle boy is growing up" It makes me so mad and akward feeling. Also I'm in the 8th grade(well going)and i have yet to have a girlfriend, but the girl i like is going out with my friend but he doesn't like her. So when he dumps her i'm gonna ask her out me and the girl are like bffls and i want to take it to the next step, and i was wondering how long i should wait after my friend dumps her for me to ask her out, like a few days a week ? more....

Answer from counsellor

It is quite common for guys your age to find their voices dropping and arm pit hair growing. And, I know that it is embarrassing when people point out that you are growing up; however, I think I can understand why you used the Angry Emoticon. Sometimes adults forget how it makes young people feel when they make comments like you described. You also said that you feel angry and awkward. What exactly makes you feel this way? Have you ever spoken with your mom about this and told her that these types of comments make you mad and that you also feel awkward? In regards to this girl who you describe as being bffls, one of the things that you might want to think about is given that relationships usually do not last for a long time at your age, are you willing to risk losing her as a friend when your relationship ends? The reason that I have brought this issue up is that young women have shared with me that they quite often find it difficult to go back to being friends when the relationship is over. It might be helpful for you to include this issue in your conversation when you suggest taking your relationship to the next step. The good news here is that you know her very well. And, you, more than most guys, will know when she is ready to move into a new relationship. There really is no formula here. Questions that you might want to consider are: What were her feelings for this other guy? ie. Was she in love with him? How long had they been dating? Is he dumping her for someone else? Usually when someone is not in love with someone and when they have not been going out for a long time, and when they are not being dumped for someone else, it is easier to start dating someone new. However, there are as many exceptions as there are people. An idea that you might want to consider could sound something like this: Hey, we're really good friends and I find you really attractive, would you be interested in us taking this relationship to the next step, when you are ready? Of course, use your words. Does this approach appeal to you? I hope that this has been helpful! Have a great summer! I wish you all the best! And, as you are probably aware, you can speak with a counsellor by calling 1-800-668-6868, 24/7. P.S. We love you guys, too! P.P.S. Your Author Name is very interesting.