"I just don't like them all talking behind my back like that"


this girl that i use to know added me on facebook. she got really mad at me because i had a picture that looked a little bit like hers. she was saying i had to individuality and that i need to depend on others to make myself feel better. so she deleted me off facebook then sent me these two messages. WOW COULD YOU BE ANY MORE OF A (Edited) !? you think you're (edited) cool stealing my (edited)like you always have claiming its ur ideas u (edited) loser and i dont think you could be anymore of a (edited) wannabe eh why dont u just be ur (edited) self for once you have like no individuality that you have to depend on others to be creative you're a (edited) joke but all i did was make a picture? it made me upset so i sent her a message saying that i thought her picture was nice so i just wanted to try and photoshop a picture that would look a little like it to show my friend what it looks like, then i deleted the picture. and so she wrote a note about me on facebook saying that i was a (edited) and stuff and she posted my picture on her profile to make others think i was trying to steal her ideas. BUT I WASN'T! and i told her that :( and everyone started commenting on her note and the picture saying i was a (edited) and that i had no life and stuff. and then her friends even started adding me to (edited) at me. and i told her i didnt care that she wrote a note because it was too far to go over a stupid picture, but she didn't care and she still kept calling me names and making her friends be mean to me. so i deleted my facebook account because i don't wanna be involved in something like that. and i reported her but it didn't do anything! i know it was a good idea to just delete my account, but she still has her account and she still has the note about me and the picture and people are still commenting on it and saying mean things about me and it's making me really upset that it's actually making my stomac feel weird. i just don't like them all talking behind my back like that when i don't know them and when i didn't mean to do anything bad! i just want the note and the picture gone, and i told her that but she doesn't care. i just don't know what to do anymore :'(

Answer from counsellor

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. This girl is being incredibly mean towards you and don't deserve this. If she had a problem with your picture, the mature thing to do would be to talk to you about it, politely and confidentially. My guess is that she is acting out of insecurity and jealousy. It's unfortunate that she thinks it appropriate to deal with people in this manner. It's not. I'm glad that you reported this but I'm curious as to who you reported it to. You were wise to save the messages that she wrote, to delete your account, and you were brave enough to speak up about it. Still, this girl has a posted note about you, and people continue to comment on it. This is unacceptable. I'm wondering if you or your parents could report this to your internet service provider. What this girl is doing is called Cyber Bullying, and this is a serious matter. Along with reporting it to your provider, if this girl goes to the same school as yourself, you can also talk with the principal about what is going on. Hopefully they would take the responsibility to talk with this girl and try to resolve the problem between you. As long as her bullying continues uncontested, it gives her permission to keep it up, with you or anyone else. It's too much power for one person to abuse. You haven't done anything wrong, and it's unfair the way you are being treated. Explore those avenues of reporting the cyber bullying. It would be for your benefit and for this girl. It's very possible that she is a decent person who has simply lost control of this very powerful medium. When a person abuses their power, there are consequences, and I hope that one day she will understand the impact of her actions. It's not okay what she has done, and you do have options. Let us know how things are going. Conduct yourself with confidence and maturity, and hopefully others will learn from your good example. Take good care and bye for now.