"I kinda told her i don't care and now i wanna apologise to her"

Question

so at my school we have lockers and we have to share, and theres this locker couple that always aruge and they alaways call eacholr names. And one of the locker parterns thorw the others person stuff out of the locker and i took a quick pic and sent it to the other parter i felt bad that was her stuff. And the other partner found out and sent me a meassage. i told her sorry and that i felt bad about what happend and i told her that i moved on. I kinda told her i don't care and now i wanna apolizge to her i need some help like rn. and sorry for the spelling mistakes.''

Answer from counsellor

Thank you for writing in and sharing what is going on with us. I can hear how confused you have been feeling with what has happened with the locker couple. It sounds like when the person (let’s call them… A) was throwing out the other person’s (let’s call them B) stuff out of the locker, you were brave in taking a quick picture. You then were able to send it to person B because you cared about their stuff. And now person A is upset with you. I hope together we can talk a bit more about some next steps. You shared that you have been able to apologize to person A as you felt bad. It sounds like you are an empathic individual who is able to care strongly for others. You were also able to share your ability and maturity in moving on. I can also hear that you told her that you didn’t care and will now like to apologize for this. Hmmm... how were you able to have this first talk with her? How can you do this again? Some ideas can be to have a face-to-face talk with minimal interruption. During this talk, what would you like her to know? How may you be able to practice this in front of a mirror? I wonder what you might think about this…hearing that you got involved in protecting person B’s stuff, it sounds like were a bystander who used courage in protecting someone else. This takes a lot of strength to do! What were your intentions in sharing this photo with person B? Sometimes exploring your reasons can help increase your confidence in your decision? Despite person A's response, how can you continue to remind yourself of the positive reasons for why you shared this photo? How can you remind yourself that it is okay and normal for person A to be upset? Sometimes understanding why people become upset (not agreeing, just understanding), can help in moving forward. If you do decide to have this talk with person A and things do not cool down, you have the right to be protected. I wonder... because you submitted your message to us in the bullying section if you may feel this has or will become bullying. I hope I understood that right. Did you know that all schools have a bullying policy, where you must be free from bullying at school and teachers/principals/adults must help to keep you safe. I wonder how it may feel to know this policy exists because you are not the only one going through this at school? J Knowing your environment best (School/home/outdoors), what would be a safe place to talk about this with a safe trusted adult? In the meantime, continue doing what makes you breath pleasantly and smile. This might mean sharing some jokes with your friends, going out for a walk in the snow (or under the sun.. depending the day might look like). To continue enjoying the things you love and in discovering new passions (maybe photography, art, writing, sports, baking, archery). J If you would like to talk some more about this or about anything else, I encourage you to call us or to check out our chat. Whatever works best for you. We will continue to be here for you, in any way you may need us to be. You may already know this… our phone lines never ever close! The waiting time may be shorter and we can be there for you even sooner