"I think and KNOW i am fat so i dont eat."

Question

Heeyyy its only me, i just found out i am becoming anorexic and it is really scary me and all the people that love me!!! I think and KNOW i am fat so i dont eat but then the thing is everytime i do try and eat i will (edited) it up most of the time!! i did use to make myself (edited) so i could become skinny now it just happens!! It really scares me that whenever i look at myself in the mirror i even cry, cause i dont like what i see!! i wanna be pretty!!!I wanna know how to lose weight without hurting myself and the people around me!!! I also wanna know why all this is!!!???!!!! Okay thanks you ALL!!! YOUR THE BEST!!!!

Answer from counsellor

If I said to you that having an eating disorder reflects an emotional "disorder"...What I am saying is that how you are treating yourself is a symptom of something that you are experiencing inside yourself....You say, "you don't like what you see", You say, "I know I am fat"...I hear you are focusing on the outside of yourself, your body...in a negative way...What would happen if you focused on the inside? What would you see, and feel? I do know you can't help the way you think right now...I am so glad you are expressing how you are...You deserve to express whatever you are feeling..How you feel is so important.... I also hear that you are SCARED, and so are the people that love you....You have good reason, as do they, to be scared because having anorexia can be risky for your health...Physically, emotionally, mentally and Spiritually.....Your wise self knows that you are hurting yourself by eating/or not eating the way you are....Somewhere inside a part of you knows that HOW YOU ARE hurts you...You tell me that, "I even cry, cause I don't like what I see" Your scared feelings are telling you THINGS HAVE GONE TOO FAR....These feelings will help you GET THE HELP YOU NEED.....I heard your amazing question, "WHY ALL THIS IS"....A counsellor/therapist can absolutely help you find out what's going inside yourself that you NEED TO LIVE THIS WAY RIGHT NOW....A counsellor will help support and guide you in learning about yourself, and the way in which the anorexia works in your life...She/he will also help you find other healthier ways to live without hurting yourself......There are therapists/clinics that specialize in the area of eating disorders, I am sure your Dr will help refer you to someone.......I URGE YOU TO GET THE HELP YOU NEED......I know you will....It's why you are reaching out, (I am so glad you have) and why you are asking questions..... WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.......On the Web, and/or on the phone, 1-800-668-6868, we are available 24 hrs, and we are completely confidential... Consider these questions....What will happen for you when you are pretty, or skinny? How will your life change? How will you feel different about yourself... Will you?? You say stupid eating disorder...maybe this eating disorder will teach you some very valuable things about yourself in order to be HEALTHY and HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.... KEEP EXPRESSING WHO YOU ARE.....I REALLY LIKE WHO YOU ARE :)) Be GENTLE and LOVING to YOURSELF....YOU ARE IMPORTANT... PLease Take Care..... Let me know how you are....