"I'm still not quite sure what I did wrong…"


So for the past few weeks, my guy best friend has been pretty mean to me. I'm still not quite sure what I did wrong to make him get mad at me, but when I try to talk things out, he says "you don't understand anything, do you," and how apparently I have been showing him an attitude, whenever we talked. He used to compliment me and cheer me up whenever I was down, but now something I did has changed that. I've tried apologizing to him, but apparently I keep making the same mistake more than once..? I really wanna fix this, but he's the type of guy who shows all his rage when he's mad at me. Not only that, but he also jokes around way too much, but I'm pretty sure he isn't joking about being mad at me, since this has been going on for a while now. He messaged me a few days ago like "I'm gonna give you another chance," and I thought things were going well, but I guess they haven't. My friends don't think I should talk to him anymore, and his friends made fun of him in the past for talking to me, but he told me before that he doesn't care about what his friends say because he likes talking to me. Also, I've had feelings for him since last year, and he found out about that this year, when we got more closer. Apparently he liked me back (he told 2 of his friends, one of them told my friend and she told me; he's indirectly told me sometimes too and how he'll "ask me out" later), but when all of his friends found out that he did, they all started making fun of him... So, he told them that he "moved" on, and makes fun of me here and there, so that they don't make fun of him for liking me. Yet, he still gave me some signs that he still likes me, such as how we're "eventually" gonna date. Sorry, this is also kind of related to the "Dating" topic too... Please help me out

Answer from counsellor

I can understand why you are feeling so confused... What I'm hearing is you have done everything that you can to reach out to this guy. You have asked him many times what you have done wrong, but still he has not answered. It would be tough for you to know what to do when your questions go unanswered. This guy is important to you because you like him more than a friend. You are hoping that your friendship can grow into a romantic relationship in the future. It is hard to know how to navigate relationships when you are growing up. Just so you know we hear from a lot of young people about relationships, so you are not the only one. I'm wondering what the reason is that your friends don't want you to be friends with him anymore? Is this an option for you? Do you think some space is needed? Another idea is to try to set some limits with him. Try to challenge him next time he is not clear/fair with you. Make it understood that you can't make changes unless you know the problem. Let him know that he needs to treat you in a respectful way. Leaving you waiting and not knowing why he is upset is not respectful/supportive. I would encourage you to speak with parents they may have experienced something like this at your age or can give you some good advice. Good luck. I hope the two of you can work out a positive solution.