"Now I am too SCARED to go to high school"


On the first day of summer vacation, like 11 months ago in June...I went on MSN, and I started to talk to my friend (let's call her Alexa). She's the same culture as I am. So...my cousin and I wanted to talk to her. But then we found out that another girl (which is Alexa's friend, let's call her Helen) was on her account when Alexa was away. So, I went on and said, HI...But before I said HI i didn't know it was Helen. Then she replied to me saying all these swear words, and she was cussing at me really badly. Since I'm too weak, I can't take revenge and cuss at her because she's one of the "populars", I don't know why she was swearing at me though? I didn't do anything wrong in the past, I didn't even talk to her. My weakness is...that i can't stand up for myself. :( I was feeling really sad during the whole summer. And I was too afraid what she was going to do to me once she sees me on the first day of school. But luckily, she transferred to another school, I was so relaxed. But now...it's almost the end of the year again, and she might go to the same high school as I do. Cause' my home high school is her home high school. I am very, very SCARED! I can't talk to my parents because I know that they won't understand, due to the problems I had recently. And I was going to ask my teachers/principle but I didn't cause' Alexa didn't allow me. Because she's afraid that she's going to be involved cause' Helen was using her account. Now I am tooooooooo SCARED to go to high school. :( Please help KHP, you guys are the only ones I can talk to. Thank you very much, and God bless. <3

Answer from counsellor

I'm glad you're talking about all of this, cause it really does seem like you need help with it...especially if this ' friend' is the same friend you already told us about...the who got into your email account, and ' locked' you out of it.[ If you haven't read the response on that post, go read it now...the counsellor gave you some good ideas in her response.] I'm mentioning this, because like that other counsellor I honestly don't think this person is really a friend -- based on the way she treats you. And even if she is in the same high school you're going to...she doesn't have to be a friend, if you don't want her to be. It is YOUR choice about who your friends are!! Yes, you do have choice over that, because friends are always, after all, choosen. And if they abuse us, mistreat us or take advantage of us...well, we have the right to choose new ones. What do you think of that? I know that you're afraid of her, and what you think she might do to you but, even that tells me that she's NOT A FRIEND. A friend is someone you have fun with, enjoy and feel comfortable with. She likes you and has your back, if bad situations crop up. I don't get the feeling she does any of these things for you...but rather bullies you, makes demands and gives orders. You obey out of fear, not friendship...Have I got this right? It makes me wonder why is it that you do think of her as a friend? And by the way, do you have any other friends at school? If so, how do they treat you? My guess is much better...am I right? So why not spend more time with those friends. This will help you get used to be treated well :) I hope you'll think about all of this. You deserve to have some good friends...and high school could be a new start for you...on a more positive note. Take care and bye for now.