"At one point it drove me to have thoughts of self harm and suicide"


So I have been dealing with this issue for several years now and nothing has worked to put an end to it. My brother verbally harasses me about the things that I am interested in. Specifically anime and LARPing with my friends. On top of that I am Asexual and he picks on me about that as well saying things like "Asexuals don't exist" or "so does that mean you reproduce like plant" he says many other things related to these two examples and they all make me feel alone, unwanted, and hurt inside. Many of the things he says are highly offensive and demeaning and no matter how much I try to stand up to him he just comes back more fierce than the last time. At one point it drove me to have thoughts of self harm and suicide but thanks to a friend that around that time helped out of those thoughts but as a result my brother has found away to emotionally terrorize me with that as well by saying that no one loves me, likes me or cares for me. I have tried to defend myself and my friend but it hasn't worked. As a result I never leave my room because I am afraid that he will hurt me emotionally again. Also I have takes to my parents about him but they have done nothing to stop it so I cannot turn to them for help. So I am reaching out here to possibly get some help in this matter since you are my last hope. So please help me.

Answer from counsellor

Your brother is a bully, he's verbally and emotionally abusive towards you. What he's doing and saying is not okay. It's unfortunate that your parents aren't taking a more active role in consequencing his behaviour. You deserve to have their support and to live in a safe environment. This isn't about you. Your brother is an angry person, carrying around a lot of hurt and hate inside of him. He's using you as a target to express that anger. It's not fair and it doesn't make sense, but we have no control over the actions of others, we can only control our own. You're brave for trying to stand up to him and defend yourself. But as you said, he only "comes back more fierce". You may already be doing the best that you can, trying to ignore him, not to react, and staying as far away from him as possible. I'm curious, have you ever thought about moving out? I know that's not an easy thing to do, and it requires a lot of money to live on your own, but would it be possible? Could you have a talk with social services and ask about government financial assistance? Do you have any friends that also want to move out who might be looking for a roommate? Give it some thought. If not now, there will come a day when you'll be out of your parents house and living on your own. Can you imagine what that will look like? If you start having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, would it help to picture the future instead? You can also call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868, we're free, confidential and we never close, anyone here would be glad to talk with you. Who else could you call? It's encouraging to hear that you have such a close friend, someone who cares about you and tries to help you. I'm curious, could it be that your brother is jealous? You know who you are, you have an interesting and dynamic social life, and you have friends. No matter if he's jealous or not, it's not okay for him to mistreat you. I only wish I had a solution for your problem. It really is an issue that your parents could try to manage. If your brother treats you like this, I can only imagine how he treats other people. You need help in dealing with him, but he needs help too. I'm guessing it must be a pretty lonely place living with such animosity inside of you. Believe in yourself and who you are. When people discriminate, it's through ignorance and hatred. You're better than this. Let us know if you want to talk some more, you're not alone.