"She closed the message saying she never wants to see me again."

Question

Hey Kids Help Phone, I got a bit of a problem. Yesterday, I was talking to one of my school friends on Facebook, and I asked her if she knows about sexting. She said yes, and then I said that if she ever felt like it, would she send me a picture of you know what. She then says that she has a boyfriend and that's considered cheating. I didn't know this, so I apologized. But she didn't answer. Then about 10 minutes later, her boyfriend starts a chat with me on Facebook, and he was [edited: language] off pretty bad. Mind you, I'm in Grade [edit: content], while both my school friend and her boyfriend are in Grade [edit: content]. So, her boyfriend was like "what are you texting my girlfriend?". I said that I just wanted to talk to her. Then he accused me of trying to get nudes from her. I told him no, that I wasn't making her do it or using any force like that, and that it was a misunderstanding. then, he threatened that when I come back to school from Winter Break, he's going to beat me up. I told him he can't do that because he'll go to jail for assault. After that, I blocked him and reported the conversation. But at around 11:00 P.M. last night, my school friend texts me. She asked what I was thinking and that I was lucky she's not one of those girls who runs around showing everyone what happened. Then she begins to tell me how her life has been, and that she was feeling suicidal at one point. Then she closed the message saying she never wants to see me again. After that message, I began to feel the effects worry and depression. I was having thoughts of suicide, but luckily they went away quickly. If there is a kind and generous person who cares to help me, please reply. No matter who it is, kid or someone from Kids Help Phone, please reply giving me advice. I just wish that girl would give me another chance.

Answer from counsellor

Thanks for writing in to us. Sorry to hear that all of this is going on! Sounds like you are pretty upset about it, and I am so glad you reached out to talk about it. Just so you know, I edited out a couple of identifying pieces of information; I hope you’re ok with that. So, if I am understanding correctly, you asked friend to sext you. She said no because she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend then became angry and was threatening you. A while later, you were speaking with your friend again, and she shared with you that she had been feeling suicidal, and told you she didn’t want to see you again. Now it sounds like you are feeling a lot of different emotions around this, including worry, shame and feelings of depression. You also mentioned that you were having thoughts of suicide. I am glad they went away, but please know that if they ever come back, don’t hesitate to call 911 or your local emergency services. It is important to get help right away, to keep yourself safe. You can also call us here and we can help you make that call: 1-800-668-6868. I can also imagine that you are feeling pretty concerned about your friend. Is there someone you can talk to about this such as your parents, or even her parents, or a teacher at school? I know it is a difficult position to be in, but when a friend tells us she is suicidal, it is important that we tell someone, so they can get the help they need. To read more on how to help a friend who is suicidal, check out this link: http://kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/InfoBooth/Emotional-Health/Suicide/Helping-a-Friend.aspx It sounds like you want to get your friend back. I am wondering, it sounds like you now regret offering to send her a sext, so do you think you could email her and explain that? I can tell that she is pretty important to you, and that you don’t want to lose her friendship. Often owning up to something we have done that hurt or upset our friend can help in repairing the relationship. What do you think about that? Also, how are you feeling around the threats that her boyfriend was making towards you? Is this something you feel you want to report to the school? If you do feel unsafe, don’t hesitate to report it to a teacher or principal ok? Please know that you are welcome to call us anytime if you would like to talk more with a counsellor about this. We are here 24/7: 1-800-668-6868. Thanks again for reaching out, take good care