“My dad is a negative, unhappy person.”

This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.


My dad is a negative, unhappy person. He complains about everything. He bought a wallet recently and complained it’s horrible, why can’t they make better wallets. everything. Swearing about it. He washes pots, bangs them around. He’s rough and noisy with most things, it scares me. But there is worse. He was at our cabin, the neighbours adult daughter has a small dog. My dad was walking up the trail from our dock carrying pipes. The dog who he never met before, ran up and bit him in the calf. Luckily he didn’t need stitches, had puncture wounds. He went over to neighbour and told them. The daughter didn’t apologize and her bf asked my dad if he caused something to make dog bite.. He said no, they said apparently dog has bit or tried to with others. My dad told me if he had got ahold of the dog after it bit him, he would have {edit violent content}. When he said that it scared me. When I was younger we had a cat. Cat was outside and got into garbage. My dad pulled garbage away and the cat tried to bite him. I watched my dad {edit, violent content}. My dad grew up on a farm. When their dog was sick and old he told his dad.{edit violent content}. He said they didn’t have money to take to vet. We had a deer come into our front yard and eating at newly planted tree It was raining and somewhat foggy. My dad was angry it was eating at tree, {edit, content} The deer slipped on wet grass and dad was closing in. Luckily it got away before dad hit it. I would love to have a pet but I don’t trust my dad. If pet got into mischief I’m afraid of what dad may do. My older sister lives in another province, she has three dogs. My dad gets annoyed when they jump on him. He said there stupid dogs. Told me many years ago . {edit, abusive content} I don’t think he would but scared me. When sister was living with them, he got violent a few times. They were arguing, {edit, violent content} She managed to break free and hide, lock bathroom door. My mom stood by, didn’t help or say nothing. Apparently similar happened, I was out, and her male friend had to block door with his body to prevent dad from kicking it down. My dad almost punched me in the face one time, but someone rang he doorbell, a friend of his dropped by. My mom has depression, anxiety but also mentally abusive towards me.My dad is always negative. He gets scowly looks on face. I also suspect he’s cheating on mom. Read emails he left open by accident. Meeting woman after work for dinner. Mom doesn’t know. Dad told me he should have never got married. He holds grudges for a long time against people he hates and talks meanly such as {edited content} One time I told him about some animal abuse that was on the news and how sad , horrible it happened. Instead he had a bit of smile and laughed slightly. What’s so funny animal being hurt?! I feel tense a lot around home. I tried telling the school counselor in the past but she said my parents are nice people, and she didn’t say or do anything about it. Parent teacher meetings at school, and you can meet the school counselor too. My parents met my teachers and counselor too. I really don’t think she believed me and I’m afraid others may not listen or believe me too! That nobody will help. Is what my parents, especially my dad , say and do, considered abuse?


Your dad is a very angry and violent man it is natural that you feel as scared as you do. All that you describe the actions your dad takes and what he says is abuse. I am so sorry that you are being abused and that you have to live in such a negative and stressful environment. You have very good reason to feel as scared and worried as you do. Your school counsellor should have listened and heard what you told her. She should have contacted the Children’s Protection Services. You can still contact them now before you turn 18 years. At 18 years you legally can move out of home without your parent’s consent. You have the right to feel safe and at peace at home. You have a right to leave and live in a safe home. Would you consider leaving? Is there a family member you can stay with or a friend? Your mom and dad both need help with their anger. They should not be taking it out on you nor others particularly as you describe with your dad. If ever he threatens to hurt you, you can call 911. Threats to hurt you are taken very seriously. Your feelings are important just as you are. Your safety is as important. I urge you to reach out and tell an adult that you know exactly what you are experiencing at home. You could try another teacher at your school or an adult family member. You can call us anytime at Kids Help Phone, 1-800-668-6868, we are available 24 hrs, and we are completely confidential We are here to support you Keep talking…Please Take Care..I Care Let us know how you are

Need more information or support? You can contact Kids Help Phone 24/7.