“Girls on the site started posting rude comments…”

This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.


I have BDD, so therefore it is really hard for me to interact with people my own age especially. Last summer my family got the internet, and I joined an online fan club in hopes of meeting some friends online, since it was too hard @ this point in real life. Things went ok, I met a few girls, and became pretty good friends with them. But about three months ago two of the girls on the site started posting rude comments about me. Calling me a whale, ugly, liar, and they started some nasty rumors on a few other sites about me being pregnant, etc. Well it really bothered me @ first, but my High School Guidence Counslor helped me to be able to face the girls. No matter what I said they always found a way to twist it or more rumors to spin off of it, so I left the site. For a few weeks afterwards I continued to get hate mail from them, and I still do once in a blue moon. But now here is the problem. A few days ago I went back to the site to see what everyone was up to, and I saw that one of the girls I had been friends with, but didn’t stick up for me when I was bullied was now being attacked by these girls. And now even to a worse degree. They made 3 You Tube videos about her, calling her fat, and making fun of her religious views. I private messaged this girl telling her I was there for her, and she thanked me, and appologized for not sticking up for me. I would really like some advice on what I should do to stop these girls. I reported the videos on You Tube, but they have not been removed, and I am thinking of reporting them to the site moderator. What should I do or say? or should I just ignore them? I don’t want anymore girls to go through the emotinal pain these 2 girls are inflicting. Thank-you for taking the time to read this. It is much appreciated.


Wow, I can see why you would feel so frustrated! These girls are doing some pretty cruel things to you and it sounds like a nightmare. L I’m really glad that you wrote in looking for help and we can try to figure out how to make these girls stop, together J I can understand why it would be difficult for you, interacting with others, when you have BDD. I think that’s really awesome of you that you joined an online group as a way to meet people and make some friends! I hope that you’re proud of yourself for that. These girls have definitely not made it easy for you when they have spread rumours and said hurtful things. I also think it’s awesome that you reached out for help by talking to your school counsellor. It sounds like you’re a very hopeful, proactive person. J I watched the youtube video and I wonder if the girl that is talking about you is jealous. All she does is say that you’re the best and a wonderful dancer, etc. She doesn’t sound to be sincere, but I truly believe that if she was happy and content with who she is and all of her talents and abilities, she wouldn’t feel the need to bring others down. I also wonder who made her the spokesperson for everyone else. How does she know what other people think about you, like your boyfriend and others? I was going to suggest that you flag the video as inappropriate, under bullying, but you already did that! That’s great. It doesn’t seem like they have taken the video down yet, so it might be a good idea to encourage your friends in the online group to do so as well. Yes, I think it’s also a good idea to message the site moderator and let them know that you are being bullied. That was very nice of you to message the other girl who is being teased to tell her that you are here for her. I’m glad that you have her, and she has you. If only the world was full of more respectful people, huh? J Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to about this and get some support from, like this girl in the group or your parents? You deserve this. Remember that you belong in that group if that is something you still want to be a part of. These girls have no right to make you feel like you don’t belong and to be cruel to you. Hang in there and please don’t give up! Let them know how this is affecting you. Hopefully they will one day soon understand the impact of their actions and will stop. Also, hopefully people in the group will remember that not everything that someone says is true and will question believing the rumours they hear.  I’m not sure if you should ignore them or what you should say. Remember how strong you are and let that strength shine! We are always here for you, and you can call us or post us anytime you would like. Feel free to let us know how it’s going. Keep dreaming good dreams, Dream Girl! Good luck and take care!!!