“Sometimes I wish they weren’t my parents.”
This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.
so I’m 14, and the older I’ve gotten, the more overprotective my parents have gotten. for example, I used to have sleepovers all the time, but they won’t let me anymore. they never have any reason, either. I think they think that I’m going to get myself into trouble, but I don’t know why they would think that, because I’ve never been the type of girl to get in trouble. I’m well behaved, and I almost always do what I’m asked to do. it frustrates me, and they seem so set on me not sleeping over at friends houses, that if I ever try to talk about it, they say that I’m not allowed, and that is that. sometimes I wish they weren’t my parents. not only for this reason, it’s just that we dont always get along, and I feel like our personalities clash (especially with my mom). she yells at me a lot, and is constantly comparing me to other people, including my own friends. she say “I bet *friends name* doesn’t fight with her mom” or “*friends name* doesn’t have sleepovers and she’s fine” “why can’t you be more like *friends name”. also, my parents always smoke, and my mom gets drunk a lot. last New Years, she drove us home while she was drunk, and me and my brother were scared to death, she was so reckless. we were yelling at her to stop, and let me and my brother get out, but she yelled back, and wouldn’t let us. for these reasons, I really dislike my parents, and I wish they weren’t mine sometimes. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s honestly how I feel. what do I do about them? I feel like j can’t even live with them.
You certainly have a right to all that you feel you have very good reason to feel as frustrated as you do. I am so sorry that your parents, particularly your mom cant hear you. They should be listening as what you have to say is most important. You deserve to be respected as much as they expect you to be respectful to them. Have you spoken to your mom and/or dad about the yelling and the comparisons? If you told them how this feels for you could they hear you better? Could you have a sleepover at your house instead? In this way they can see how responsible you and your friends are? Parents can become more so overprotective at your age due to the “trouble” some kids get themselves into. As you say this is not you. Yelling is very hurtful your mom shouldnt be taking her anger out on you like this:(. Too much yelling is considered emotional and mental abuse because of the deeply felt hurt. Is this how it feels with your mom? Her drinking (a lot) is another expression of her anger and how she hurts you. You could speak with your school social worker or a teacher about this. You could also contact Childrens Protection Services for support and guidance. To compare you is also very hurtful. You cant be someone else only your own beautiful self:). Again your mom cant seem to see all that you are responsible and so well behaved. She should never be putting you in comparison to others:( Is there someone else in your family that you can speak with? Like a grandparent or uncle/aunt? Could they speak to your parents on your behalf? You can call us for support anytime at Kids Help Phone, 1-800-668-6868, we are available 24 hrs, and we are completely confidential It is important to talk and share your feelings and your experiences. Keep talking and reaching out We are here to support you Please Take Care..I Care Let us know how you are