Since childhood, I have struggled with answering the question ‘Where are you from?” A relatively simple question to others but not me. When it was directed at me, I had to consider which of my identities to put at the forefront. Should I mention where I was born? A country that isn’t even mine to claim? Was I supposed to answer in terms of my ethnicity, tell them where my parents are from? Or was I to simply say I’m Canadian, as if I wasn’t all of those other things?
At the end of the day, I could choose and pick. The worst of it was in navigating how to belong and get along with others. At home I was “whiter” than my parents, at church I was “Blacker” than my peers who were born here, and at school I was so incredibly Black among my friends.
I remember being particularly bothered by this one summer, when I realized that I didn’t strongly identify with even one language of those I know. This realization hit me hard since the Kdramas and Cdramas I love to watch had made me develop an interest in learning Korean and Mandarin. Yet without adding these on top, I had already had to learn three languages, none of which I’m fully fluent in today. Having said that, this is not something I hate. It’s just that being made of so many pieces, I have been forced to question my wholeness.
Fortunately, my question was answered when I realized, when an object breaks, the pieces are never the same shape or size, but when put together they still manage to make a coherent whole. I don’t have to fully absorb into a singular identity. Being human is a journey of having ever-changing beliefs, values and principles. I can adopt anyone which is good for me and allows me to be the best self to others. Thus being me, is being in the sum of my identities. None of which is less than the other, all of which I could lay out to someone, if they were truly interested in understanding or knowing me.
Kids Help Phone (KHP) is honoured to share creative content submitted by youth from coast to coast to coast as they Feel Out Loud with us. We thank the Feel Out Loud Community Creator of this piece for their contribution to youth mental health and well-being in Canada. For more information on the Feel Out Loud Community Creator Space and / or how you can submit your own creative content for possible publication, you can visit the submission page.
