8 tips for difficult conversations with friends
Telling a friend what’s on your mind can be hard, but it’s an important part of an honest, trusting friendship. Here are some tips for navigating a difficult conversation.
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1. Plan ahead
Plan what you want to say ahead of time. Think about what youÍd like to cover, and the words youÍd like to use. If it helps, write down a few pointers to keep in mind.
2. Consider timing
Pick a good time avoid approaching someone when theyÍre busy or in a group of people. Find a quiet spot so you can talk without distractions.
3. Take breaks
If the conversation stops being productive (e.g. if youÍre going over the same points again and again), itÍs OK to take a break.
4. Talk about feelings
DonÍt blame your friend for how youÍre feeling. Instead, tell them whatÍs upsetting you about the situation. You could say, ñI feel really hurt and upset when you say things likeî
5. Set expectations
Let your friend know what you expect out of the conversation. For example, ñI have some things to say, and IÍd really appreciate it if you wait until IÍm finished to respond.î
6. Pace yourself
If you throw a lot of information or questions at someone, they may get overwhelmed or miss some of what youÍre trying to say. Take your time and start with the most important point.
Your friend may be feeling upset too, so take time to hear their side. Productive conversations allow both people to express themselves without feeling judged.
8. Stay calm
Never call your friend names or use physical threats or violence. If you find yourself getting upset, take time out. Agree to talk again once youÍve had time to cool off.