“I didn’t save the conversatiton…”
This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.
okay! so there is this girl, lets call her S. She goes to cheerleading with me. I also attend cheerleading with L1, L2, and B2. L2, stopped attending for about a month or two now because of soccer and that was the last time her and S talked. S has a friend, let’s call her A and A used to date my friend B. One day I wwas shopping with my friends SM, R, F and C. And when we sat down for lunch in the food court, A happened to be sitting at the table behind us. the 4 girls that I was with all knew her beacuse of B, but have never actually had a conversation with her or got to know her personally because A and S ar in grade 8 while we are in grade 7. A, has a little step sister named J. J has some illness and lost all her hair. It has been growing but its very short so she got a wig. Later on I found out it was extensions or like a weive or something but at the time my friends and I thought that it was a wig because she had recently switched it to a completely new one. Anyways I come on msn one night and S is accusing me and my friends of calling A, a slut while we were at the mall. I didn’t save the conversatiton like i saved the others but i remember telling her that i didn’t and i couldn’t because i didnt know her. and her last words to me were “wow, u really are wat people call you” and she called me a b****. So I DELETED her. A few nights later I come on msn again. She started talking to me. This is the convo: S- BITCH OF THE YEAR Me- (says nothing) S- Bitch of the year Me- (says nothing again) S- Bitch Me- go away! i deleted you! how can you be talking to me! S- I have my ways (A was added to the conversation) S- look you have to stop talking behind peoples back, like people you dont even know Me- EXACTLY. I never called A, a b**** ( i ment to say slut!!!!!) S – wow you can’t even say the word A- yeah ok i mean i didnt even do anything to you and u hate me Me- no i dont! i never even talked to you so how can i hate you A A- well you told me that u did, actually you told B when i was dating him. Me- thats cuz me and B were in the biggest fite ever and i wanted to do anything to get him mad. i cant truly hate you when i have never had the chance to get to know you. S- wow kk no like A told me what you and your friends said about her and you are like rude as hell like grow up what are tou a month old or something. and using A for that is dumb like use your brain for once Me- ok so when did i call her that? A- in the mall S- at the f***ing mall, jesus i said that like four times cant you read Me- I didnt even talk to you!!!!! My friends wavedd! A- ya u were f***ing talking behind my back S- wow we are not dumb. A, was your sister there? Because if she was than it was like 4 against 1. (**watever that meanss :S) Me- you can as anyone of the grils that i sat with. i was talking about that grade 6 got a new wig. people said it was ur step sister and we whispered because we thought you might find it offensive if we said something about her wig S- ITS NOT A F***ING WIG! Me- i have seen her real hair, its short and she used to wear bandanas S- ITS NOT A F***ING WIG Me- ok watveer but i still said nothing about her (**meaning A**) A- STOP F***ING TALKING BOUT MY SIS’S HAIR, ITS NOT A F***ING WIG, ITS HAIR EXTENSIONS GET SOME GLASSES! Me- k well i dont care. THAT is what we were talking about, so S i dont care what you or A say. cuz i know what i said. S- kk and FYI, L1, L2, and B2 f***ing hate your guts Me- thats okay S- yeah inow. your a loner at cheerleading A- you have no friends HAHA S- lol lol lol Me- okay S- its true. you think people like you but naw naw naw your wrong once again Me- okay S- F** (I have no idea what F** meanss…) A- LOL NIICE S- yeppers. So at that pooint i was crying and i told my mom and my dad and my step mom. my dad was pissed and printed all of it off. i was so scared to go on msn cuz i cudnt see if S was on because i deleted her but she was still talking to me, so everytime i saigned on i crossed my fingers and prayed that she didnt talk to me. S goes to school somewhere in O, while i live in B along with A and J. Anyways i sign on 2 days later when my parents are out and her name pops up and she has added me in a convo with her and A. A called me a pussy and S threatend that if i say anything about J’s wig i wud pay badly.the teacher saidshe cant do anything!HELP.
Wow, sounds pretty intense! How have things been since you last posted to us? Have things gotten better or worst? It sounds like S and A are really picking on you. Its really too bad that they chose not to believe you. From what you included in your msn convo. It sounds as if you stood your ground and that you were clear and direct to them. Good for you! I know that it must have hurt to hear S and A say such hurtful and painful things to you, especially when you are being accused of something you didnt do. You mentioned that you go to the same school as S, well that the two of you are in cheerleading together, how has cheerleading been since? Have you spoken to the other girls in your team to find out if what S and A are saying is true. Perhaps S and A are just saying this because their intention is to hurt your feelings. There may be no truth in what they were saying. They went from one problem to another. When they saw how you were sticking to the truth, and that your story made sense they created another issue. It sounds like you informed your teacher about Ss threat. Did the teacher say she cant help you? Im a little surprised that she said that, I wonder how you felt when she said this to you. Well there are things that you can do, you can talk to your principle and show him/her the printed conversations you had or that S and A had with you. If you don’t think you can do this yourself, perhaps you can get one of your parents to go with you and talk to your principal? If S and A continue to harass you on the internet, you can involve the local police. What they are doing to you is called cyber bullying, and its not okay! Check out our section on the website about bullying, there are tip sheets on things that you can do! Like one of them is to continue ignoring them that will show that you have no interest in them. Sooner or later they will realize that you are not bothered by them, theyll get bored. I hope that this has been helpful, if you need more support please feel free to write back or give us call! You are not alone here! We understand how difficult this is for you!