“I dont know what to do, please help me.”

This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.


This could’ve gone into dating or family.. but this is affecting my family more so ill drop my problem into this category. Alright, so ive made once again, another stupid choice. Ive been so alone in raising my daughter, not even my family is helping me so i decided i would hook up with this guy who was also into me (he had previously asked me out but i said no at the time). He said he was going to help me with my daughter (as i told him that was a condition for me to be in a relationship), that he would be there for her like she was his own and i felt really good about that.. i mean, i dont want her to grow up without a father because of my stupid choices. Things got way too far.. i found out a few days ago im pregnant. again. so i went to him and told him the news, and he broke up with me. he told me “im not ready for this”, there was no questioning or the possibility that he was going to help me through this, he just left me. I feel horrible about myself, for the choices im making, im not doing so well at my role as a mother… im doing to my daughter exactly what my mom did to me, and i feel really bad about that.. im so scared, i cant raise another kid alone i cant do this by myself i need help.. i dont know what to do, please help me


I’m glad that you’re reaching out for help, as this sounds like it’s another big heap of stress for you to deal with…and you had a lot already! You’re already finding it tough to go to school, work and raise your child, so it’s not surprizing that the thought of another child is way more than you can see yourself being able to handle. So that brings up the question: what can you do to help yourself with this? I think you do need help, and you have for awhile, because it’s very hard coping alone with raising a child at 16. I’m wondering: what do you think about talking with your school counsellor, for some support and to vent about everything? Could you see yourself doing that? If not, how about going to see your family doctor? He or she can set up some counselling for you, and that could be a good place to talk about this current pregnancy and what it is that you want to do about it. Are you aware that you do have options and choices about how you can choose to deal with this, including adoption or termination of the pregnancy? Would you like a chance to talk all of that out further, because if so we can offer you some resources near you so that you can? If you call us we can give you resources so that you can talk privately and safely about this, and all of our counsellors can listen and support you as well. And in case you don’t know, it’s free to call us, 24 hours a day, every single day of the year including all holidays, and anonymous and confidential as well, so why not give us a call at: 1-800-668-6868. This service, Ask Us Online will be closing as of December 31, 2015…so in a few days time. We will answer every post we receive until then, or you can call us or use our LIVE CHAT. Live Chat is open every Wednesday to Sunday from 6 pm until 2 am, EST and you get to chat live, in real time with a counsellor via text…it is also private. No one but you will see it, unlike this, which is seen by the public. Check elsewhere on this site for details about logging in to join in on it, and for the local time, in your area, that it is open and available. The days are always Wednesday to Sunday, but the times vary in different parts of the country due to the time zones. Or, as I mentioned, please call us and talk it out with one of our counsellors, it’s free and we’re here to take your call 24/7. I encourage you to keep reaching out, cause there is help for you. Take care of yourself. bye for now.