“I woke up in so much pain, all over my body…”

This question was submitted to Kids Help Phone by a young person and answered by one of our professional counsellors.

Question

last weekend all of the grade 10’s, 11’s, and 12’s in our school got invited to a party (held by one of the “popular” guys). i decided to go because it wouldve been fun, i could have more of an opportunity to talk to people and maybe make a few friends. There was definitely more than high-schoolers there.. there were older guys ive never seen before. There was also alcohol there, and i decided i would drink just a bit.. but i didnt stop. i dont remember much of that night… but i fell asleep at his house.. i woke up in so much pain, all over my body.. i had bruises, my underwear was gone and when i went to the bathroom i had blood (“down there”) but i wasnt on my period.. i think i was raped.. i dont know what to do. i dont know if i should tell someone because i was drinking even though im legally not allowed.. i dont want to be in trouble for that.. and i dont know if i was the one who gave consent??? i dont remember and i dont know who did it. im really scared.. any suggestions on what i should do would be great, thanks

Answer

I’m so glad that you decided to come here and talk about this, because it sounds like what happened to you was just devastating. I’m sure it wasn’t easy opening up and talking to us about it, but that was the right thing to do because you need help with this! You were sexually assaulted, from what you described, and you may have been drugged as well. The fact that you can’t remember much about that night suggests that you could have had something put into one of your drinks. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence at parties and clubs. But I hear you blaming yourself, because you had some drinks, but lots of kids do that…you’re not alone, are you? And it doesn’t mean that you deserved what happened…what it does mean is that someone took advantage of you and raped you when you were vulnerable. And they broke the law when they did that, since it’s very unlikely you gave your consent to what happened. For one thing, if you did, you would’ve remembered it, and you don’t. I think it’s going to be important for you to talk to a counsellor/therapist about this, and to see a doctor as soon as possible, if you haven’t already. One worry is that you might have contracted an STI, another is that there is a danger of pregnancy – both of which need medical attention. How do you feel about seeing a doctor? There are some sexual assault centres in Nova Scotia, but since I don’t know what part of the province you live in, how about I just tell you about one, it’s called Avalon Centre and it’s in Halifax. You can reach them at: (902) 422-4240. They specialize in helping victims of sexual assault, and it’s aftermath, so they will know how to help you. And if you’re not close to Halifax, I’m sure they can provide you with the names of similar services nearby to where you live. You can also call us, 24 hours a day and talk to our counsellors here at Kids Help Phone. It’s anonymous and confidential, and we’re also open 7 days a week, all the time and that includes all the holidays. We can listen and support you, including helping you plan for seeing a doctor. Is there someone who could go with you, for instance? I don’t know if you have told anyone about what happened, but if you did, who would it be? Who in your life do you trust to listen and not judge you, and to stand by you throughout this? I hope this helps. Let us know how you’re doing, remember we’re always open and here to listen, no matter what you’re feeling… bye for now.

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